Days - too many to count - Ground Hog Day

It has been a long time since I last updated. A lot has happened in that period.

Last July, I had my second surgery to take out a screw in my right foot. The surgery went well and my surgeon was happy with how my foot had healed. For two weeks, following my removal surgery, I wore a walking boot and my foot felt good (relatively speaking). I returned to the doctor at the end of the two weeks. Weight-bearing X-rays were taken of my foot, and I was told all looked well. The doctor cleared me to transfer into a supportive tennis shoe.

I was free for all of four days until I felt a dreaded popping sound in my right foot. It happened when I stood up. My heart immediately fell into my stomach. I knew what had happened. The next few hours the pain and swelling in my midfoot grew. I was in disbelief. How could this be happening to me again? I didn't do anything but stand up.

Two weeks went by until I was able to see the doctor. I explained the situation. He was as perplexed as me. Upon examination, he noticed some instability in my foot. It was clear to me that I was going to have to have surgery. However, my doctor first wanted to go the conservative route. Five weeks I spent in a non-weight bearing boot after which I revisited my doctor and told him I still had considerable pain... So surgery it was. My third one in less than a year.

The surgery (Sept. 2016) was different than my previous one due to the different location of instability. I had ORIF (Open Reduction Internal Fixation) of my first metatarsal, medial cuneiform, and second cuneiform with one plate and four screws. The first week of recovery was extremely painful and filled with many hours of drug induced stooper. My recall of that first week is like attempting to remember a dream. In total, I spent six weeks in a non-weight bearing boot, using my knee scooter for transportation.

Right foot ORIF Sept. 2016

Since I had already lived this type of lifestyle in the past, it was almost second nature to me (not sure that is a good thing).  I was nearly pain-free after the first week of recovery, which was a plus, but the physical and psychological toll of the injury and recovery weighed heavily on me. One injury, surgery, and recovery of the Lisfrac variety is enough to beat down a person of the soundest mind and strongest body. Three surgeries and recoveries in a relatively short period is just villainous.

Three months after surgery (late Nov. 2016) I emerged with positive thoughts. My feet were feeling well and I was walking (slowly) in a pair of real shoes. However, no more than a week of walking on my two free feet, misery struck once again. This time it was my left foot. I was living a Ground Hog Day scenario.

To give a recap: My left foot had previously had many problems of its own. From Aug. 2014 until Aug. 2015, I had a Lisfranc injury that was misdiagnosed. The long period between diagnosis and eventual surgery (ORIF with a metal plate and five screws in Oct. 2015) made my injury and recovery particularly complex. The prognosis for Lisfranc injuries is not the best unless treatment is initiated quickly. I had the metal plate and screw removed in Feb. 2016.

The pain in my left foot grew over the course of a couple of days until I couldn't walk on it any longer. In my gut, I knew something wasn't right but there wasn't much I could do at the time. I had to be patient. Fast forward eight weeks until January; I have seen my doctor, got an MRI, and got a cortisone shot into first TMT joint. My foot is still in a lot of pain. The MRI shows bone edema, post-traumatic arthritis, and soft tissue edema in my midfoot. These findings are not good news. It means I only have one option to hopefully walk again without pain. That option is the fusion (not nuclear) of my first TMT and intertarsal joint in my left foot. If fusion sounds scary, that's because it kinda is. There is no undoing a fusion. Nonetheless, it can allow me to return to a semi-normal life... So fusion it is for me. In another month, I will add a fourth surgery in a year to my tally. I don't know what is going to happen. At this point, it all just feels ridiculous. The good news is my surgery punch card only needs one more punch and I get one free...

Days 148-226: On the up and up

It has been two and a half months since my last post. The last time I updated I had recently had a metal screw fixed in my right foot and five screws and a metal plate taken out of my left. Since then, I have gone from having one foot in a cast (non-weight bearing) and one foot in a boot to no casted and no booted feet.

In the past few months, many random people have asked me what happened to my feet. When I first started having these interactions, I would take a truthful approach and explain what actually happened to me. However, I found that the 'story' I told was lacking excitement, exceedingly boring, and did not entertain my listeners. So, after a few of these encounters, I just started to make up stories. Some of these stories included a skiing incident, rock climbing fall, and a fall over a waterfall while white water kayaking. I quickly polished my story-telling ability. It wasn't long after, though, that I found my story-telling (lying) left guilt weighing on my mind. I thought it wasn't right to be telling people these fake stories when real people actually suffer from these accidents. From that point on, I just told people I broke my feet... End of story.

I have learned quite a deal from the many people that have interrogated me as well as from my experience in general. To keep it short, I will just mention one key lesson I learned. I have learned that being tactful and respectful to others is imperative. Particularly, in situations where it is clear or suspect a person is dealing with physical or emotional problems. Simple social ediquettes like 'don't stare' or 'think about how your questions or words will make a person feel' should be adopted and practiced. For an example of the latter, don't ask someone with a broken back when they think they will walk again.

I can't claim that my recovery has been linear. There have been myriad of strange pains, soreness's, popping sounds, and swelling in both of my feet over the past few months. At times, progress seemed consistent, while during other periods my recovery seemed to be taking two steps backwards... Fortunately, now I am able to 'walk' (I use this term loosely) around on two untethered feet. Never would I have thought that I could be so happy waddling around. Even if I am slower than most people over 95. It has taken a lot of work and an enormous amount of patience to get to the point I am at now. I am very aware that there is much more work and patience to be embraced ahead. By no means am I out of the hole yet.

The doc said my left foot and right foot feel solid. Scar tissue has bound the insides of my feet back together, so I was given orders to start physical therapy. I started therapy last week, and will be attending sessions for the next 6 weeks.

I do not claim that my experience ranks anywhere close to the infinite number of greater hardships many others deal with. However, I can say that my experience has given me new perspective and made me increasingly empathetic and aware of problems physical and psychological that people face. It has been a character building exercise to say the least.

The next month will be more recovery, then surgery to remove the screw from my right foot. I don't know where I will be physically in the next few months. I hope it will be on two good feet. For now, I am not worrying about it... I will just keep plodding along... Or waddling.

Days 138-147: Two for one

Fortunately, the pain after surgery did not live up to my surgery last October. This allowed me to kick the pain meds after a couple of days and get through the nausea that follows a lot quicker. Day by day I have been progressing from purely sedentary to somewhat active. I view being active in relative terms. I am by no means doing P90X. Here is an example of my progression:

Day 1: Doped out on pain meds and recovering from the side effects of anaesthesia. Can lay in bed and chew food. Takes about 10 minutes to get to the bathroom.

Night after surgery, watching the Bachelor

Day 2: Game of Thrones

Day 3: 8 minutes to get to the bathroom. Can get to kitchen and awkwardly take a shower

Day 4: Heat up frozen meals. Scootered outside to check my mail. Game of Thrones

Day 5: 3 minutes to get to bathroom. Sat outside

skip to...

 Day 8: Crutched all the way to the car and to a bench in a park. Went out for dinner. Game of Thrones.

So that is where I am at now. Being able to crutch is a big deal. However, it is difficult because I have to navigate with a boot on my one "good" foot (rocker soles on the boot make it difficult to balance on one leg).

Luna (cat) is pissed at Lana (dog). Unfortunately, they may never come to love each other

Days 102-138: deja vu

Today is the first day of meteorological spring. Yesterday (February 29th), I had my second Lisfranc operation. The surgery/surgeries included taking out five screws and metal plate from my left foot and putting one screw in my right foot. Yes... this may seem kind of confusing because I haven't really talked about the injury to my right foot. It is similar but more subtle to what happened to my left foot. However, back in January my surgeon recommended surgery on my right foot to fix an injury that occurred over summer 2015 (when I hopped and torn a tendon in my foot). He advised me to go ahead and get hardware in my right foot at the same time the hardware was taken out of my left foot. I agreed with him. I figured doing the operation in this manner was killing two birds with one stone. I have not previously mentioned the second surgery on my right foot because I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I was also kind of embarrassed... what young guy has that many problems with his feet?

Surgery yesterday went well, and I didn't have as much anxiety or nerves as I had back in October... this wasn't my first rodeo. The doctor said that my left foot looked like it healed up nicely, so that is good news. He put a long screw in my right foot to bind up some instability from a torn ligament. I am not allowed to bear weight on my right foot for 6-8 weeks. Fortunately, I am allowed to put weight on my left foot while wearing a boot. If this was not the case, then I would be none weight bearing on both of my feet... that would be a nightmare. So far all the pain drugs that they pumped into me are helping, but as they wear off I am starting to feel where my feet were cut open.

Having this many surgeries, and being so long not being able to do anything on my feet (almost 2 years), has taken a pretty big toll on me physically and psychologically. I have to literally take it day by day or one step at a time (pun intended), or everything becomes much too overwhelming.

Now I am resting up. Mostly just watching Netflix or any other online streaming network.

Days 62-101: New year

It has been 14 weeks after my surgery and there is not too much to add. I  had a visit with my surgeon, and he said my the screws and plate in my foot were still aligned in the right position. I got the green light to transition from my boot into a stiff soled shoe. I have been walking around my house more without my boot on, and 'walking' short distances with two regular shoes. I still use my boot if I have to go longer distances (e.g. walking around the grocery store).

Recently, I went back home for the holidays and hung out with some good friends. Some of them have actually read some of my previous blog posts, while others could not believe that I actually have a blog. To honor my good friends, I wanted to offer a shout to Michel Mickey Goldstein, Doc Ross, Baby Daddy Tent, Baby Mama Jessica, Charlie da Baby, Rocket-Man Kyle, Running-Man Charles, Ciao Ciao Christine, Tatum the Tats-ter, and Taste of the Mexi Anthony.

Days 27-61: Obla di obla da

It has been awhile since my last post. In an attempt to finish my master's thesis, I have been absorbed in my work for the past few weeks... The good news is that my mad-dash to the finish took my mind off of being in a cast and boot.

Three weeks ago I got my cast off. It was a happy and scary day. I was nervous of what sorts of pains I would feel once had to walk on my foot again. The cast removal process was not as graceful as when they put it on... Nonetheless, it eventually got taken off. My foot and lower leg was pretty gross. Still had caked on blood from the surgery, and there was lots of dead skin. You would be amazed at home much dead skin cells people shed every day. When those skin cells aren't able to escape onto the couch, bed, desk, etc... they start to build up. I made sure when I got home to take a long shower. I think I washed my leg and foot over a dozen times. It was a great feeling. Anyway...since then I have been booted. The boot and I have a long lasting relationship, which goes back over a year. This is my fifth time being in a boot for over four weeks. In terms of bootage (unit of measure I use for the # of boots), I am on my fourth boot... if this blog doesn't work out, I may be able to start another blog reviewing the makes and models of the various boots I have utilized. I actually did have a in-depth discussion with a woman telling her the pros and cons of the boot I was wearing and how it compared to others... believe me, it was a riveting conversation. I think it would be an equally exciting conversation piece at parties in the future. For the first week in the boot, I had to use crutches and put little weight onto my booted foot. After a week, I found that I could walk OK in the boot without much pain (mainly just soreness). I have worked my way up to walking around the grocery store and even Walmart. Focusing on the later of these two places, I have received great joy being among the great people that grace Walmart with their mullets, bellies, and most of all American flag t-shirts. Walmart society is complex but intriguing, and I have gone to Walmart twice now just to bear witness to its almost mystical qualities (I get bored). Although I hobble more than walk, it is a great accomplishment for me. I can't describe how nice it is to be able to get around somewhat normally again. I will need to start doing some physical therapy soon. My left leg and calf has atrophied by about half its original mass.

Rather than show boring gross pictures of my foot, I have included a picture of my cat as well as a new dog member to the family named Maya (gf's dog pictured below). Just having the company of both of these pets has helped me out more than any crutches or boot.

Days 19-27: Over the hump

I am past the halfway point. My cast will be sawed off two weeks from now. Of course I will have to wear a boot afterwards, but I would take a boot over a cast any day. I have been staying sane by going out every once and awhile to the store or to my office. However, I don't do a lot besides sit in my house and work. There is not really much else you can do with crutches. It is just too difficult and takes too much energy to orchestrate doing anything more. On a positive note, my immobility has allowed me to get a good bit of work done... so that's good. I also got pushed around the grocery store by my gf. A big thanks to her for putting up with me.